by Emily Abbate
No matter how you put it — knock boots, smush, do the deed, get dirty — everyone has certain things they love during sex. Maybe you’re into girl on top. Maybe you’re a missionary kind of lady. Heck, maybe you get off when your guy wears a monkey suit. To each her own.
However, there are some things that are just absolute no-nos between the sheets. Yeah you may not like a dirty talker, but that doesn’t mean it’s an absolute don’t. They do exist, though.
Check out 10 of our biggest sex don’ts here:
1. Blood should never be drawn: Being rough is one thing, but being THAT rough … it’s a no-go.
2. NEVER answer your phone: Whoever is calling you during the time you’re knocking boots can wait. If you answer it, you better believe I won’t be waiting for you when you come back.
3. Wrong name, no game: Call me by an ex’s name while doing the deed in a moment of passion, and I’ll be so far out that door SO fast.
4. Don’t treat me like an acrobat: If you’re changing positions every 0.5 seconds, it’s not fun.
5. Don’t stop being yourself: If I like you for you, I don’t want you to become someone you’re not the second we do the deed. Unless we’re role playing, that is.
6. Don’t run away: We just got really intimate. Getting out of bed and running off the second you get off, well, that’s just rude.
7. Don’t forget to kiss: Sure, some positions may make this not-so-easy — but you want to connect with your partner. No kissing = making your partner feel like you don’t really care about them.
8. Don’t fake it: We can tell. We can ALWAYS tell.
9. Don’t lie: If you pretend to love missionary because you know your lady loves missionary, it’ll be all over your face while doing the deed. Find positions you both like, and work with that.
10. Don’t go silent: You want to know if your partner likes what’s happening. I’m not saying talk through the entire sesh, I’m just saying a “Yeah, baby!” won’t hurt.