by Julia Austin

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If he says this when you come out in an outfit, it’s because he really doesn’t like that outfit you just showed him. But he’d never tell you that.

Women are known to be the queens of manipulation. Men say we play brain tricks on them they never even perceive, or that they’re so “simple” and “straightforward.” Nuh-uh. Men have all sorts of things they’re embarrassed to say, or they know will get them in a lot of trouble. So, they’ve had to come up with their own manipulative tactics. Like these.

1. ASK YOU TO BE THEIR GYM BUDDY

You know how you ask your guy to be your running partner when you notice his gut is growing? When he tells you it would be “a fun bonding experience” for the two of you to hit the gym together, he’s noticing a little spare tire growing on you.

This is the sweet way your guy persuades you to go out with his friends, and go to his favorite bar, or watch his favorite movies. Meanwhile you haven’t noticed: he’s not being a part of your life. This line is the cute spin men put on, “But I don’t wanna…!” when you suggest your favorite movie.

2. “AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THINGS STARTED EVERY TIME?”

If you complain about not having enough sex and your guy gives you this line, essentially he wants more foreplay. But instead of saying that, he’s guilting you into feeling he does all the work. He knows that 9 times out of 10, your reaction to that will be giving him more foreplay.

3. EVERYTHING IS A BIRTHDAY/GOING AWAY/ENGAGEMENT PARTY

Somehow one of your boyfriend’s buddy’s is either having a birthday, engagement party, promotion party or going away party every weekend. Really, men just add titles to regular old parties as an excuse to get drunk.

4. “ISN’T MY BABY THE SWEETEST?”

Your guy will ask for any favor—any at all from you making him a sandwich to you letting him skip dinner with your parents—in front of his friends, where he knows you want to look like an understanding girlfriend. Before you really have a chance to answer, he’ll grab you and proclaim for everyone to hear, “Isn’t my baby the sweetest?” Now you have to say yes to his request. Or else, you’re not the sweetest.

5. BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOUR DAD

If your dad has no relationship with your guy, any time you complain about your guy your dad will instantly go into defense mode for his little girl. Dads think all young guys are selfish jerks and never good enough for their daughters. But, if your guy sucks up to your dad and becomes his best buddy, when you complain about him, your dad will make excuses for your boyfriend. And your boyfriend knows that.

6. TELL YOUR BFF HOW CRAZY HE IS ABOUT YOU

If your guy, in “confidence,” goes into a ten minute rant to your best friend about all the reasons you’re so wonderful, he knows exactly what he’s doing: now, when you and that BFF go out together, she will keep an eye on you and scare away other guys.

7. TELL YOU HOW LAID BACK/COOL YOU ARE

If your guy wont stop telling you how “laid back” or “chill” or “cool” you are, you can bet he will soon want a get out of jail free card on something. Knowing you want to be the “chill” girlfriend, guys will give you this praise, hoping in the future it means they get to get away with more. You wouldn’t want to lose your title as “chill girlfriend” by freaking out now, would you?

8. “LET’S JUST DRIVE THERE AND WE’LL SORT IT OUT”

Whenever you two go out together to a lounge or party, you try to make a plan ahead of time: you suggest you two take a cab there and back, or take one car and one person stays sober. But your guy cuts you off, says you’re ruining the fun by worrying, and says the above line. And what happens? You always end up DDing because your guy “forgot” to figure it out.

9. “YOU KNOW WHAT DRESS I REALLY LOVE?”

If he says this when you come out in an outfit, it’s because he really doesn’t like that outfit you just showed him. But he’d never tell you that.

 

10. “I’D RATHER BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING REALLY NICE WITH YOU

You ask your guy if he’ll come with you to Target and then the grocery store and then the carwash and he says this line. It seems sweet, right? Like he wants to plan something special for you. Sure. That was his way of getting out of running errands.

11.“YOU AND YOUR MOM SHOULD HAVE ALONE TIME”

You invite him along to lunch with your mom, or a weekend visiting her, and he gives you this line. How thoughtful.Actually, this is how he gets out of hanging out with you and your mom.

12. “I’D RATHER JUST HAVE A LOW-KEY, INTIMATE NIGHT WITH YOU”

You have a laundry list of restaurants you want to go to and shows you want to see and he gives you this line. He just doesn’t want to spend money. Oh yeah, and he knows you’ll probably end up doing all the cooking.

13. “I SHOULD REST SO I HAVE ENERGY FOR THAT THING THAT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO YOU”

You invite him to something and he gives you this line, reminding you of some other thing he is going with you to later that week, or even that day. It seems very considerate that he’d rest up to bring his A game to your work event/friend’s birthday party later. Actually, he just got out of doing something he didn’t want to do.

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Read this article in Madame Noire

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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