by Joshua Pompey

Black couple date

He’s cute, fun, smart and you can’t stop thinking about him. You’re already three steps ahead of the game, mentally planning weddings, children and that giant house with the white picket fence. Finally, after all these years, the perfect relationship has finally been found. Happily ever after sure feels good, huh?

Not so fast. While many men may seem ideal after just a few weeks of dating, upon closer inspection, there can be warning signs that you should avoid a relationship with this person. It is important to recognize these warning signs before it’s too late. The alternative is waking up one day down the road divorced with five kids and fifty thousand dollars in debt, watching re-runs of “Honey Boo Boo” on Nick at Nite.

OK, maybe I’m exaggerating. But the truth is, as much as we often ignore the warning signs of a potentially bad relationship early on in the dating process, these issues don’t go away. Most behaviors only grow worse over time. So, instead of jumping into that long-term relationship with a man you suspect may be wrong for you, let’s take a look at fifteen types of guys to avoid getting into long-term relationships with in the first place.

1. The set-in-his-ways guy.

These men will only become more rigid over time. Dating someone who refuses to do anything new makes for a long-term relationship that is both boring and one-sided. Assuming that he will eventually change and open up to your hobbies is misguided. This will likely never happen.

2. The pick-up-after-me guy.

You are his partner, not his maid. Men who expect you to clean up their dishes, pick up their clothes and take care of them as if they are little children on a consistent basis need a really check, and will likely treat you as if you are their mother for the rest of their lives.

3. The always-looking-for-a-deal guy.

Be wary of men who constantly look for deals and comment on prices early on in the dating process. While everyone likes a good deal, real men will not make this known when courting a woman. These are signs that he will likely be very cheap throughout the duration of the relationship.

4. The I-need-to-watch-sports-all-the-time guy.
There’s nothing wrong with sitting on the couch and watching sports. Many guys do. But this should never trump the responsibilities of a relationship or take precedence over family obligations. There is a difference between loving sports and having a childish obsession with them. Choose a man who knows the difference.

5. The what’s-for-dinner guy.

Expecting a home cooked meal every single night makes for a relationship that will likely feel unbalanced in the long run. Again, you are not his maid. There should be contributions from both parties, even if that contribution isn’t always evenly divided. It’s the effort that counts.

6. The I-get-increasingly-less-romantic-with-each-date guy.

Many men break out all the stops early on in the dating process, but by the fifth of sixth date, the laziness starts to creep in. While no man should always be expected to plan five-star dates, at the same time, the romance shouldn’t just completely fall off a cliff at once. These changes in effort can be very foretelling of how he will be a year or two down the road.

7. The I-had-sex-and-now-I-don’t-have-to-try-anymore guy.

Always play close attention to how a guy’s behavior changes once he has had sex with you for the first time. If he truly cares about you, his good behaviors will grow stronger. Those who back down and start getting lazier after having sex for the first time were probably only after one thing to begin with.

8. The I-will-let-you-pay-for-some-of-my-bills guy.

Anyone, regardless of gender, who asks for help paying bills early on in a relationship should raise red flags. Don’t let yourself be used. By paying for him early on, you are setting the tone that it will be this way for your entire future.

9. The lack-of-ambition guy.

Be very wary of men who talk up a big game of what they plan on doing with their lives. Some men with no ambition whatsoever like to talk up a good game, but at the end of the day, they are just saying what they know women want to hear. There is nothing wrong with a guy who wants to grow into a better person, just make sure that he’s genuine.

10. The I’m-in-my-late-twenties-or-older-and-still-live-with-my-mother guy.

In my book, living at home up until age 25 is acceptable, provided the guy was going through schooling or saving up money. But anyone who has been working for a couple of years and still lives with his mother past this age is never going to grow up. Period.

11. The “sorry, I’m not a big phone person,” guy.

Some men may not like being tied down to a phone, but responding to your text messages or phone calls shouldn’t be annoying; it’s common courtesy and respect. This is a warning sign of future selfish behavior.

12. The over-controlling guy.

The opposite of number eleven, the over-controlling guy must know where “his woman” his every second of the day and approve of who she is hanging out with. Run from this type of man immediately.

13. The I-don’t-know-what-I’m-looking-for guy.

One day, he wants a relationship. The next day, he wants kids. Two months later, he’s not sure about either. Often times when this line is pulled, its code for “I’m looking for a marriage and kids, just not with you.” Steer clear.

14. The let’s-just-stay-in guy.

If you like being indoors more than being outdoors, this may be a good match for you. But men who are constantly suggesting that they want to just stay in and watch a movie early on in the dating game are likely the lazy type, or only out for sex. This will only get worse over time.

15. The I-don’t-like-your-friends guy.

No man is more important than your friends. If he doesn’t like them and refuses to hang out with them, leave immediately.

For more free tips from Joshua Pompey, including how to write successful emails online, click here now. Or click here to learn the best methods for writing the perfect online dating profiles.

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Joshua Pompey is on Twitter at @JoshuaPompey
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

 

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