by Sabrina Alexis

Men are absolutely starved for respect and appreciation. At the end of the day, all he really wants is to make you happy and to feel that you see and appreciate him for who he is

I got an e-mail from a reader the other day saying: “All that is great (it was in response to a newsletter article I sent out), but what are the steps to make a man fall in love with me?!”

I had to laugh at the (seemingly) adorable naiveté of her questions. To think making a man fall in love could be reduced to a simple set of instructions!

Later in the day, I started thinking about her question a little more. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that getting a man to fall in love really can be achieved following a few simple steps. And I was instantly able to pinpoint what they are.

Here you go:

Step 1: Attraction
This is the most obvious step…sparking a guy’s interest always starts with attraction. Being attractive to a guy doesn’t necessarily mean looking like a cover girl, it really boils down to being confident with who you are and what you look like.

It’s important to take care of yourself no matter what stage of a relationship you’re in. Make sure you fit exercise into your life– staying in shape has all sorts of benefits, especially when it comes to the way you look and the way you feel.

Find something you love doing- running, zumba, yoga, running, an at-home DVD (our Health Writer swears by Jillian Michaels Killer Buns & Thighs).

There are also a few scientifically proven beauty tricks to get a guy’s interest.

In a nutshell they are:

• Red lips – Many studies have shown that a red lip makes a woman more attractive. This is thought to be because red lips are a sign of fertility
• Lined lids – Using eye-liner or mascara creates a contrast that enhances your feminine sensuality
• Flushed cheeks – Another sign of fertility and youth that makes you instantly more appealing. Try a subtle pale pink blush for a fresh, natural look
• Thick locks – A recent survey showed that hair is the first thing men notice about a woman, even before breasts! Like the others, thick, shiny strands are an indication of good health.

And when it comes to fashion, always make sure you dress to flatter your figure and complement your personal style. If you’re uncomfortable with what you’re wearing, it will come across and this sort of thing is a big turn off.

Step 2: Go with the Flow
So an attraction has ignited you just start hanging out. You text and talk on the phone here and there, but you’re still in that stage where you don’t quite know where this is going. Just go with it!

Don’t analyze, don’t obsess, don’t plot, don’t stress. And don’t consider yourself off the market just because there’s a guy in the picture that you really, really like. Keep your options open, play it cool, and give him the space to come to you. And stop checking your phone every five seconds to see if he texted. Seriously, stop.

Step 3: Maintain your own life
Things with the guy are getting a little more serious, you’re hanging out more, the connection has deepened. That’s all well and good, but it’s imperative that you keep going about your life in the same way you were before you started dating.

Of course you can carve out some more space for him, but don’t drop everything else you had going on in your life before he entered the picture. Keep going about your life as you usually would, keep hanging out with friends, going to book club, working out, everything you were doing before… keep doing.

The fact that you had a well-rounded life is a big part of why he was drawn to you, so don’t stop being that girl just because you have a guy.

Step 4: When it comes to label time…
Ask yourself, do you want to be with him, or do you just want to be with someone.  At this stage, it’s important to check yourself and make sure that you want the label for the right reasons.

A man wants to feel adored and appreciated for who he is. It is an amazing feeling for a man when a woman he’s into sees who he truly is and wants to be with him.

On the other hand, it is utterly unsettling to a man when the girl he’s seeing just wants a boyfriend and he knows he’s just filling a slot that could easily go to any other male.

A lot of women get so caught up in the fantasy of having a boyfriend that they fail to really see the person they’re dating… all they see is the chance to not die alone. When a guy feels that you appreciate how unique he is and what he himself can contribute to your life, he won’t hesitate to make it official.

If you’re doing it right and he still won’t put a label on it, use your walking power and leave the situation. If he cares for you at all, he won’t let you go.

Step 5: Appreciate, acknowledge and respect him for who he is
Men are absolutely starved for respect and appreciation. At the end of the day, all he really wants is to make you happy and to feel that you see and appreciate him for who he is…that you see the hidden sides of him that no one else gets to see, that you know his inner self and love and appreciate who he is.

You can’t fake your appreciation though, it has to be sincere and genuine. When he does something nice for you, be it something big or small, show him that you noticed and that you appreciate it. The more specific you are with your compliments and acknowledgments, the better.

An ideal woman to a man is a woman who is thoroughly happy with him. If you are genuinely happy with him and with the relationship and are able to  see him and accept him without an angle or agenda, he won’t be able to stop himself from falling hopelessly in love with you.

So there you have it. The steps to make any man fall in love. Just promise me you’ll use this instruction manual wisely, not to make any and every man fall in love.

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Read full article at The Gloss

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.