5 ways to bring back romance into your relationship

by Sarah Jordan

By communicating our relationship needs, fears, wants, likes and dislikes, we give our partner the ability to honour these needs and we feel heard.

Following the excitement of the festive season it’s all to easy for couples to get the January relationship blues. Luckily, relationship Coach, speaker and author of Relationship Remedies: Relating Better to Yourself and Others, Sam Owen, is here to help you get back on track.

So if you’ve lost the spark at home or are struggling to sizzle in the sack, here’s how to steer your relationship back on to the romantic route…

1. Commit to spending time together

All relationships require ongoing nurturing, some of which comes from spending quality time together. A few weeks spent apart won’t matter much but if you spend most weeks living separate lives, you will begin to drift apart. Spend quality time with your partner every week. Stick a specific date and time into your diary for a ‘date night’ if you need to. That ‘date night’ could involve a night at home over a candle-lit dinner or a day at the museum or time spent in the park playing crazy golf. Be creative, mix it up and make it achievable on a weekly basis.

2. Be simple in your intimacy

Simple intimacies should be utilised on a daily basis, e.g. holding hands, putting your arms around one another, cuddling, and looking affectionately into each other’s eyes. Closeness and intimacy are linked to good health and longevity and are vital to the success of your relationship.

3. Communicate, communicate, communicate

By communicating our relationship needs, fears, wants, likes and dislikes, we give our partner the ability to honour these needs and we feel heard. Sometimes you may have to repeat your message several times before it is acted upon but if you never say what’s bothering you you can’t expect him to read your mind! Be open and reap the rewards.

4. Do things for your partner that you know they will appreciate

If you commit to doing things for your partner that you know will make them happy and make them feel loved, chances are they’ll do things for you that will make you feel the same. Think back to how committed you were to doing things to make your partner happy in the early days of your relationship. Just because you’ve been together three years doesn’t mean they don’t still deserve the same attention to detail.

Do they like being fed specific home-cooked meals or being given a massage? Do they like a specific magazine you can buy for them as a surprise? Do they have difficult family members that you struggle to get on with but you know it would make them happy if you made the effort? Do something every so often, simply to make your partner happy.

5. Take responsibility for your own happiness

Couples can fall into the trap of expecting their partner to fulfil all of their needs. This can place an unnecessary burden on your relationship, kill the romance and increase the dissatisfaction you feel. Remember that you are still independent, still an individual. Be sure to maintain a healthy balance between doing things with your partner and doing things for yourself, by yourself and just with your own social circle. You will then appreciate the contribution your partner makes to your life more.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

One comment

  1. Indeed ur article is interesing but I want us to know that without God in our relationships,it's always differcult to maintain peace that is to say, couples should make God Almighty in charge of our relationship and believe and even when u want to change,the fear of God will alwyays not let u do it,cos we've got all solutions to our problems in relationships in the book of life as I call it,that is The Bible! Which is the Word of God,just be on ur guide,and stand firm in faith with the Word of God and you will be fine with your spouse! Make God the head of your of realationship by accepting Jeaus christ as your lord and seviour,and only then can u enjoy or restore peace in your marriage! God bless you.

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