by Grace Efezokhae
Maybe we grew up watching Disney cartoons where Cinderella had to wait for prince charming, how Snow White had to be kissed by a prince charming to save her from death and how they all ended up living happily ever after. But then, things are fast changing and roles are being reversed. In this day of women liberation and feminists’ campaigns, there surely ought to be no big deal about this.
Don’t you just love public holidays especially when it falls on a Monday. Sometimes, I think there should just be a change from Saturday and Sunday as weekends to Sunday and Monday. There’s just something about a Monday morning. (Sighs!). Trust you are all enjoying the lovely public holidays. Happy Eid el Fitir and Eid Mubarak to all Muslims, may you have many more reasons to celebrate. Hmmm….and to the Kano bomb blast victims *sobs*, I am just short of words. You are always in my prayers.
Just as I was relaxing at home, I remembered a display picture (dp) on a friend’s bbm contact and put it up as my dp. I used to hear of how women propose to men in yankee but not in naija. The picture may be a frame up though but people are now warming up to the idea that a lady doesn’t have to wait for the man to propose. See some of the convos I had on my bbm today just because of this dp.
Babe A: Lailai, what’s this? Mtchew! I will rather stay single for life. What happened to the guy’s mouth?
Babe B: Why would she be the one to propose, I will do no such thing. My dignity as a woman nko! I don’t want any man to come and start telling me that “is it not you that proposed to me” and all that yeye talk.
Babe C: There’s nothing wrong with it though as long as they love each other.
Guy A: What’s the big deal, why should people make a rule out of something that crept in with what the society has come to accept as a norm?
Guy B: Really! I don’t want to believe what am seeing.
Maybe we grew up watching Disney cartoons where Cinderella had to wait for prince charming, how Snow White had to be kissed by a prince charming to save her from death and how they all ended up living happily ever after. But then, things are fast changing and roles are being reversed. In this day of women liberation and feminists’ campaigns, there surely ought to be no big deal about this. Although, in India, the women pay the dowry to the man’s family.
Whether it is the man or the woman who proposes or not, I think we can all do what works best for us. What may work for ABC may not work for XYZ. By the way, when I even checked online to see people’s views on this matter, all the proposal videos of a woman doing the proposal were all oyibo people o. You can watch this video of a white girl proposing to her boo.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgdJc_SXyGg?feature=player_embedded&w=640&h=360]
I don’t think I can propose to a guy o, I even tried closing my eyes to imagine asking a guy “Will you marry me”, everything was just blank.
Do African men appreciate being proposed to?
Are you still of the opinion that the man should be the hunter and the woman, the hunted and not vice versa?
At the end of the day, this is Africa where we are highly culturally inclined. It may take a long time before we get to accept such a custom.
Isaiah 4:1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach
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Grace Efezokhae blogs at www.graciemama.com
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.
Really; as a guy, it would not be bad if a lady were to ask me out. Aint women fighting for gender equality, this is a good shot at it. Let them take the bull by the horn and stop playing second fiddle. No one knows, doing this might stop their cryings and frequent emotional breakdowns. They have to jump unto that guy they sincerely feel for; after guy A has totally changed. There is more to this
Honestly I will love to ask a question here….is it d act of proposing that makes the marriage or the intention. We africans major in the minor so much that we forgot the expedient. I think the intent is more important than all this formalities. I never proposed to my wife, we were friends and we knew how it was going to end. We are only borrowing all this acts. My candid opinion proposal or not marry ur friend
Sincerely, nothing bad in that cos we are talking about love. The funniest thing is that if the guy even propose the girl will still sako please why?
It‘s not a big deal thats what is reigning now even in Africa (Nigeria) just within a week three fine clear babes approach me.
Hhehehehehe. i had the same issue years ago. i was shy . couldnt do it
nice write up. lets wise up guys
@joseph, and i ask you, are we whites?
@onyeka, it shows you are not intelligent . this thing is big deal. the whites do it a lot
Hahahaha, never . i will never do such. make dem com toast me
its not so bad in asking a guy out but guys of nowadays will take you for granted if try such.
its not unfrican. its not done.