by Kolapo Olapoju

Sex-sexual intercourse as we know it is an act of mating/copulating between two or more people (male and female, male and male, female and female).

Shagging, banging, straffing, whatever slang you call it, and whatever terms you’ve coined it.

How do you like it?

How is it most enjoyable to you?

Sex as a subject is unfortunately very touchy and sensitive to conversate about in our society.

Just a mere mention of it is enough to chase us to our hypocritical shells, trying to avoid the elephant in the room, a common scenario.

Maybe it’s a backward African mentality thingy or it’s our traditional and conservative nature, I’m not certain, but we mostly always try to avoid educative, informative and objective dialogue about sex.

I’ve been with some female partners who at the beginning of intercourse will be emitting a muffled inward grunt, but on getting to a certain point when the sensation becomes too intense, they suddenly scream out and start moaning continuously. So, I begin to wonder to myself, ‘what just happened’ ‘why the sudden change’. But you know, as an average egoistic male, I can’t complain. I naturally assume that I’m doing a good job.

I’ve had some other ‘not so good’ experiences where I was left bemused. You know, I like to pride myself as an expert sex machine/love-maker, so you can imagine how disheartening I felt the other day when I was in the act with some lady (making sure I was touching all the right spots), and then to my utmost chagrin, I discovered she was literally still and eyes closed. I briefly stopped at some point to inquire if the person I’m mating with was still alive. She would later explain to me that whenever she’s quiet during intercourse, the pleasure is at its peak for her.

That was an eye-opener for me. It dawned on me that, though we all enjoy sex, we have different ways of projecting our pleasure.

Do you like it loud, action packed and show-offy?

Are you the conservative and reserved lover who prefers it quiet and calm?

Better still, do you derive utility in going loud and quiet?

I ask; how do you like your sex, loud or quiet.

You might say who cares?

How does it matter?

What makes it important?

But yeah, we should care, it matters and is important because we all have sex and maybe consciously or sub-consciously, we have a preference in either loud or quiet sex, or a mix of both.

Some of us enjoy having sexual intercourse quietly, with slow music playing in the background while we frolick and respond to each-other with low moans and gasps of pleasure. (Orgasm being an exception, you’re definitely allowed, in fact, expected to scream with delight when you have one, if you have one).

I mean, what’s wrong with that picture?

Well, some people will say everything.

Some of you like it loud, expressive, and steamy with the music volume at its highest- thereby creating the license to scream and shout at whim, thrusting in and out in quick procession, thumping back and forth like sex starved maniacs.

Ain’t nothing wrong with this picture either, my friends.

Many people actually like it, and are most content with sexual intercourse if it plays out this way.

Or, are you the type who likes to sit on the fence, and have a view of both sides, a taste of both dishes. Sometimes, you enjoy it loud and fast, other times, quiet and slow.

Who says there’s a crime in wanting it all?

Since different things turn different people on, it is normal that the modus operandi of our sexual intercourse sessions will vary.

No shame in being shy and wanting it quiet and easy, and private.

No apologies if you like disturbing the neighbors with your screams and thumping, no apologies expected if you are that brave.

If your fetish is going both ways, good for you. Thumbs up.

Whatever turns you on people, go for it.

Don’t dull, don’t be dulled.

How do you like your sex, loud or quiet?

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