by Oge Okonkwo
Charles Oputa popularly known as Charly Boy, gives a piece of his mind as an advice to all the single ladies out there about relationship, marriage and waiting for the right man.
So all single ladies, do not hesitate to read this message from the Area Father himself.
Read excerpts below:
All the single ladies reading this, chin-up and give your good self a thumbs up. Nothing doest thou. Last week I had a father/daughter discussion with my Princess. I could feel the frustration in her tone as we spoke about different issues. When I asked about her boyfriend she gave me a very long and irritated “Naija babe” hiss, she aired out her frustrations with this whole dating business. “Daddy we are no longer dating.” “I’m so very sorry my love, but what happened I queried,” very anxious to hear the gist, cause me and my princess are just that close. This is my daughter’s 3rd boyfriend since she started dating, and she has only been with him for barely 6months… “Daddy, please I’m tired, he is not ambitious, he has no drive, and he is too laid back for his own good, how can I marry a man like that? To make matters worse, he thinks I am overly ambitious, he says I do way too much – please tell me how that’s a bad thing.” Hummmmm, my daughter, my princess my pride and joy is unhappy.You see since childhood, my princess has been very independent, very focused and determined – no nonsense kind of ‘chic’, (can an apple fall too far from its tree?). She is intelligent and extremely hardworking, I mean what more could a man ask for in a woman? Quickly, I was thinking of how to calm my ticked-off princess down. “Darling, you know daddy will always love you no matter what, most importantly you know damn too well that you are not under any pressure to get married. So be patient, concentrate on your carrier and yourself my darling, he will come when he comes, and if he doesn’t come, have your baby, I wouldn’t mind another grandchild.” Did I really say that? Oh! Yes I did, and I meant that.Single ladies are on the rise these days, because for a long time coming, there has been an explosion of male joblessness in Nigeria and the world over. There has also been a decline in men’s life prospects that have disrupted and distorted the dating or the “marriage market”, in a way that narrows a marriage minded woman’s options. Today, all the Nigerian single “good” ladies who are desirous to settle down are at a crossroad in their dating life, most of them are simply tired, a lot are frustrated and many are giving up. Their options are really limited; it is mostly between the millions of gigolos or the deadbeat, some of who are pretending that they are waiting for Jesus before they get it together; those who don’t have ambition burning in their soul. I can’t believe that I told my daughter to go ahead and have a baby out of wedlock. Well, with the way things are playing out in our environment, it is time we embraced new ideas about dating and marriage. Society’s highest institution called “marriage” is fast becoming old fashioned and outdated. Look around and see the alarming rate of divorce matters all over the place, something is definitely wrong my people. At this rate, falling in love and getting married will be a question of choice rather than societal expectation or luck. Frankly speaking, women have climbed so high in their independence and career and are doing way better than the men. Men have been falling behind with amazing alacrity.Good single women are so disappointed and it’s unimaginable, it’s like going to a party that has been the talk of the town for long. You buy your new dress hoping to show off at the party, but by the time you land, they tell you that all the good people have left, and the ones left are really the servants, their friends or relatives who have come to scavenge on the left over food. Believe it or not, that’s the situation today, no kidding.Since the days of my grandfather, marriage has been primarily an economic and political contract between two families, prized and policed by families, relatives and community. That’s why in my village, they will tell you “no be only your wife/husband you they marryoooooo”. Things have changed since then, most of our dates are from Facebook, BB chat, online dating, the hocus-pocus church called Pentecostals, etc. There is no doubt in my mind that we are in the midst of an extraordinary change. The transformation of young outstanding women, considered marriage material, is momentous, immensely liberating and immensely scary for prospective suitors. All the old ways are breaking down, these days ladies want to be in-charge of their lives, you can’t blame them.Forget about the days of being submissive, na for your pocket. Forget about marriage vows where it says about obeying your husbands, hummmm joor, they are not slaves, understanding works better. Do they need husbands to have babies these days? Please don’t get this twisted, marriage is divine and sweet when you can not only find a soul mate, but someone who can inspire you, respect you, love you, adore your femininity and independence. They are hard to find oooooo. My daughter knows that finding a good man is like finding a needle in a haystack. None the less, should women feel psychologically defeated? Hell no! Most men who don’t know what time it is are still locked down with that old macho bullshit, that it is a man’s world. Hummmmm for where, my people, women run things now, let’s get used to it, abegi, so our days on earth will be longer joor.My princess, my baby, my joy, my little big girl knows that her character, her pedigree, her background, her ambition, her zeal and courage will most likely intimidate a lot of men out there, she realizes that this will further narrow her pool of prospects, just like she is also aware that with each passing year she is getting older and never younger but the options stay very limited. All I’m trying to say is this, I tip my hat for all the “good” single ladies out there, keep the fate, I admire your courage in not wanting to settle for any trash out there. If it doesn’t fit, trash it, finding a life time partner is not ‘moimoi’. The world is already too troubled for you to be in a relationship that you know will not make you happy. Women can see these things ahead you know, that’s why they are a special breed of God’s creation. I have discovered lately that men need women in their lives to keep them stable, but if push comes to a shove, women don’t really need men, a case in point, ‘The great Oprah’. Yes, good men are hard to find, ask Lady D. Ha!!
When the man I love broke up with me, my world fell apart. I had gone
to several casters and I got no results. Until I found
[email protected] and gave another try to retrieve my lover and
restore the passionate relationship I had with him. I’m glad I did all
that he requested of me and trusted him. He performed a spiritual
cleansing to banish negative energies that was fighting against our
relationship and casted a love spell. After four days, the man I missed
dearly started to call me and told me how much he really missed me and
that he is sorry for leaving me in the cold. Help me to say Thank
DR SERAPHIN of SERAPHINTEMPLE his Email address [email protected] OR mobile number +2348131258106
An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me.. My name is Micheal smith i live in Australia,and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{[email protected]}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next 3days what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next 3days, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past {5}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same temple {[email protected]},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related of “bringing your ex back.all thanks to great Dr Ogba for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.
See, I can understand the hardships and frustrations that relationships 2day bring…. trust me I went thru them myself before getting married. But lets take a closer examination of Charlie’s comments…in Pre colonial America where slave trade were the in thing, families were divided, children & mums were separated from their homes. This became a way of life in the African American society. The absence of a father, a figure head and a protector and defender left the children in a vulnerable state which has accounted for the culture of gangsterism, drugs and hapless hopelessness that characterizes the average black person in America. With the soo soo many problems peculiar to Nigeria… trust me we don’t need dis. Telling ur daughter to have a baby isn’t in her best interest… I agree there is a shortage of eligible bachelors who can call themselves men in every sense of the word but I also think that U can take a pig from a dirty environment, groom it in cleanliness and watch it exhibit clean traits. ok, say she has a baby or babies from different men and her children grow up without any form of firm fatherly love and control and to make it worse, they watch their mum date men in and out….. they will grow up without d steadying influence of a father and worse grow to despise their mum’s misdemeanor with men (especially her daughters) again after 25years they leave d house leaving her aged, more emotionally vulnerable and alone. My Hubby wasn’t Mr Right trust me…. but I picked him up and we are steadily and surely taking the walk 2 a better brighter future. BEING A SIGLE PARENT WILL ONLY MAKE A MESS OF A BAD SITUATION. THANK YOU
i hope all dt lead her 2 heaven if nt it’s piece of folly
We love father’s like u. Who are straight forward n open. I was actually getn frustrated cos my family feels d man i love is ‘evil n dangerous’ for me. Ur ryte abt women being in charge nw. 60% of our unemployed youths are men so shld they die,kill or steal so we can marry dem? My advice 2 ladies is-if he loves u more dan u love him n he respects u alot,hold onto him n b happy. Ur happiness shld com 1st. Women ar blessings n u being arnd him will open d gates of heaven n favor will speak for him. Thanx a million Area Father.
Na waoooo! Bfor, who wan have devil as father in-law?
Or who wan be an in-law to d gay master?
Shally, I tink say u go introduce am make she dey do lesbian nao!
Oow oow so u know say woman dey important for mans life so how come u no get one?
Bsides how u wan expect Oprah to get husband when devil itself dey sleep wt am… Abeg na u be d cause why ur daughter no get husband.
But for u Princess, u need to give ur life to Jesus nd submit ur wills to him, He will surely settle u and give unto u d man whose rib u carry. See if u get yeye pregnant, na suicide u go end up comitn by d time u see ur frends happily married while u be single mother…
And to all d single ladies, abeg make u no listen to am ow, just trust in God and He will settle u soon.
So true.
Where are all these thoughts and inspirations coming from? We are continually imbibing the trends that is wrecking the western world. When you begin to attack the sacredness and sanctity of the marriage institution all you are asking for is trouble – bigger that what you can handle. The Feminine movement and emancipation of the late 60s is what has shredded the American society to its last strand and yet we haven’t learnt. He who has ears to hear, let him hear and understand. I refuse to swallow this poison called a writeup!
Nice message but all single ladies out there should never give up on the search for ”Mr Right”.