by Daniel Essien

During the #OccupyNigeria protests, a lot of people, especially on social media chose to see the funny side of the matter. Here’s our pick of some of the jokes that went around – share us!

 

Girl in Lagos @ d protest ground saw BANKY W, rushed him n gave a boy around her new bb bold 5 to snap dem so she go take am pose for her dp, the boy disappeared from d crowd. Now who go pay for d fone? (A). banky w, (B). NLC, (C). jonathan

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Oh, one last #OccupyNigeria #Lagos picture. Yeah, dude with the black bag is selling “vegetables” 🙂 http://t.co/QMQDXikI

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I love this joke…I tink GEJ is a Nokia addict..from N65 to N97.. mr jona plis we want nokia N63 if its posssible. N97 na slide fone and d flex deh always give problem. How did the FEC get N97? Diezani’s age(52) + Ngozi’s age(58) minus the number of years PDP has ruled Nigeria(13) = 97. Prove me wrong

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List of FOOD for Aso Rock: Gucci Rice wit crystals, Louis Vuitton Beans, Buvlgari Garri, Givenchy Fufu, Ferragamo Yam, Dorothy Perkins Maggi, St Michaels Salt, Adidas Palm oil, D&G Crayfish, Sean John Owo&starch, Phat Farm Semovita, True Religion Pepper, Polo Tomatoes, Versace Curry&thyme, Tommy Hillfiger Egusi, Clarke Ogbono, Burberry kpomo & Prada shaki!!! Why dem no go chop #1 BILLION worth of FOOD.

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Safeena Buhari: Welcome to subsidy online assistance service. How can we help you today?
-To know the price of fuel in your home zone PRESS 1.
– If you are still stuck in the village PRESS 2.
Relevant Links
•    West Africa
•    Nigeria
•    ICT
– In case you need fuel but you don’t have money PRESS 3.
– To get in touch with a black marketer in your area PRESS 4.
– If you are interested in marrying an oil worker especially a petrol attendant, PRESS 0.
– To personalize your new engine to start using palm wine, PRESS 5.
– If your new means of transportation is donkey, PRESS 6
– If you voted GEJ and not PDP, PRESS 7
– For more info, please stay online to speak to President Goodluck Jonathan.
– In case you are not satisfied with his explanation, join the #OccupyNigeria protest nearest to you. Thank you

Basket Mouth Latest Joke 2012; In diz life, there are 2 things involvd:
Its either u’r a President, or u’r amng d masses.
If u’r amng d masses u’r safe, but if u’re d president, there are 2 thngs involvd.
Its either u let Ur Finance Minister resign or u remove fuel subsidy.
If ur Finance Minista resign, u’r safe. But if u remove subsidy, ther are 2 thngs involvd.
Its either the HOUSE impeach u or the Millitary plot”coup de tat”againts u.
If d HOUSE impeach u, u’re safe, but if d Millitary plot coup against u, There’s only 1 thng involvd,”U WILL DIE” occupie 9ja

This is occupying nigeria with class! @YNaija @gbengasesan @elrufai #OCCUPYNIGERIA http://t.co/1xtCNZoS

Maybe we should change our national emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the  political stance in naija.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives you a sense of security while you are actually being screwed.>:O

If U support subsidy removal watch NTA,if U are against it watch Channels TV, if U are confused watch AIT. hehehe!

Girls occupyin #occupynigeria @occupynigeria @Funmilola @YNaija @Gidi_Traffic http://t.co/t4YVVKLd

http://yfrog.com/oek21cfj

So how do u explain this sponsorhip @iamkjv @Chude @AyoShonaiya @raggaremi Ridiculous innit!! #OccupyNigeria http://t.co/Gge0BUlA

This old woman was at #Ojota. I can’t describe the way I felt when came into the park. #OccupyNigeria http://t.co/eGPEWpAq

Vacancy!!! Vacancy!! Vacancy! The office of the President is vacant. All Applicants must have shoes and common sense =D

?This morning a man was caught stealing in Ariaria market in Aba. He was beaten, stripped naked and a tire put over his head. Till now, he is still like that…. Nobody gree bring fuel….=D

?This is just too hilarious, our President is angry and ready to punish us! http://bit.ly/ynuX2O

Heard that women are gonna be demonstrating NAKED against fuel subsidy removal. My advise is pls lets not worry the old one.  I believe young unmarried ladies will look…. sorry will be better to raise our ISSUES and drive our point home:D