by SK Johnson

Okay, we’ll just go with the obvious fact of Miss Bayelsa winning because the event was hosted in Bayelsa. I say that like a fact because in my eyes, it is a fact. There’s no way around the blatant “arangee” nature of it all. Of course it wasn’t just because she was from Bayelsa and it was hosted in Bayelsa, I mean, there was clearly a lot more behind it, none of which had anything to do with any possible merit on the part of Miss Bayelsa (not to say she’s ugly or anything)

Next there’s the issue of the quality of the broadcast, although what’s the point at all? I mean we’ve been watching these events for years with horrible picture quality which only seems to be getting horribler (yes, that isn’t a word but it deserves to be just for how much it suits this issue) as time goes on. Then again, was it even the broadcast? I mean, the event was so shoddy in its organisation (or pretense that there was any such thing at all to begin with) that not even the best broadcast quality could have saved it. And when I say organisation I mean everything, right down to the ridiculous questions the girls were asked (which will shamelessly be used to back up the nonsensical claims of the pageant being about “beauty and brains” later) to how terribly they covered up their own agendas. From correcting questions on stage (I mean really?) to Miss Abuja struggling to spit out an answer that she had obviously crammed beforehand – making it even more clear how staged the whole thing was – what was Silverbird really trying to say?

And then, of course, this…

Yes, that is Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde being presented with the Silverbird Unique Personality Award.

I’m sorry, but what the heck? Now, you know I have nothing but love for Omosexy and I believe her rosy cheeks deserve any award they get, but what in the world is a “Unique Personality Award”? Since when is a pageant an opportunity to give awards to people who aren’t contesting? And, again. “Unique Personality Award”? Really? Why not just call it “The Award We Made Up To Secure Omotola’s Presence at MBGN”?

I’m asking too many questions. I’m tired. And I don’t know why. Why should I even care? It’s just a beauty pageant, after all. I mean, if I’m that upset about it, I should just go organise my own, right? I don’t know. I really don’t. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s something that’s being sold to the public as a free and fair contest, regardless of how vapid the conceit of the whole thing might be.

But hey, we’ve been watching these things for years, and next year we’ll most likely watch it all again and come back with even more complaints. Let’s hope next year they actually make a bit of an effort to cover up the sham.