I was en-route to New York City this past weekend, and as I waiting by the gate with a friend, I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation that got me thinking about the concept of “out with the old; in with the new”. At what point after realizing the current situation we are in is not functional do we really move forward? Or do we ever move forward?

The issue with keeping a foot in the old and the other in a new relationship is that it keeps someone in a gray area. But some will argue that although it is at another person’s expense, it gives them a clearer vision of where they want to be. In a situation where the “New” knows of the “Old” situation and still decides to pursue a relationship, someone will have to be priority. There is a saying that goes “You don’t make someone a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs”. Often times even knowing the situation, out of what I like to call false hope, someone bidding for the new position tends to stay knowingly or unknowingly; we all have instincts that should guide us in making these decisions to look for a better option.

Yes, maybe an old relationship (well all in the context of dating ONLY) is not working out. It’s perfectly fine for someone to look for something new if all other options have been exhausted. But it is also wise for the new person to know when the pursuant is not interested in giving up the old relationship and just simply adding another for the thrill of it.

Some people have the power to “covet” another person’s significant other, and are willing to fight it out and wait it out. LOL…well…I am sure a lot of us can relate to this on some level from friends and family stories.  Such relationships are filled with trust issues because the coveter knows exactly that territory too well.

Even if the Old is out, it is good practice to ask the new person about their current relationship with the old. Just so everyone is sure and comfortable with the current state of things. Many stay friends and cordial to their ex; some don’t even want to see their ex. Depending on the true picture of the situation, let’s make wise choices!

WISDOM OF THE WEEK: Never forget to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you; it is a form of motivation.

Oluwapelumi