by Rachel Ogbu
Still on our #IssueOfTheWeek, it would seem that there are now two worlds and you must take a side, either you are pro gay relationships or anti. However, in some cases this line is blurry.
It might shock you to know that there are many gay people who oppose gay marriages for a number of reasons.
Only last week, as many as a million people marched in Paris and at French embassies around the world against proposed legislation that would legalise same-sex marriage in France.
One of the surprises was that homosexuals joined heterosexuals and activists in the effort. Jean-Marc, a French mayor who is also homosexual was one of the protesters against same-sex marriage bill. Jean Marc, who has lived with a man for 20 years, insists, “The LGBT movement that speaks out in the media…They don’t speak for me. As a society we should not be encouraging this. It’s not biologically natural.”
Xavier Bongibault, an atheist homosexual, is a prominent spokesman against the bill. “In France, marriage is not designed to protect the love between two people. French marriage is specifically designed to provide children with families,” he said in an interview. “The most serious study done so far… demonstrates quite clearly that a child has trouble being raised by gay parents.”
Outraged by the bill, 66 year-old Jean-Dominique Bunel, a specialist in humanitarian law who has done relief work in war-torn areas, told Le Figaro he “was raised by two women” and that he “suffered from the lack of a father, a daily presence, a character and a properly masculine example, some counterweight to the relationship of my mother to her lover. I was aware of it at a very early age. I lived that absence of a father, experienced it, as an amputation.”
“As soon as I learned that the government was going to officialise marriage between two people of the same-sex, I was thrown into disarray,” he explained. It would be “institutionalising a situation that had scarred me considerably. In that there is an injustice that I can in no way allow.” If the women who raised him had been married, “I would have jumped into the fray and would have brought a complaint before the French state and before the European Court of Human Rights, for the violation of my right to a mom and a dad.”
On Gays Against Gay marriage website, an article reads:
It’s clear to me that eventually men will be able to marry men and women will be able to marry women in all of the United States, it’s just not clear exactly when. It’s just that I am not very excited about the prospect. In fact, even being homosexual, I actually oppose gay marriage. Not only that — I oppose it as a gay person.
I can no longer keep silent on the issue of gay marriage and why it is stupid, awful, and undesirable.
For gay supporters of marriage, this may be an attempt to force society to recognise and, well, love their love. It’s a way to make up for the rejection many of them felt by their hick Christian families, or their meathead peers in school as a child. The fact is, they will hate you even more if you are allowed to get married. Now, I don’t deny that it is hilarious and delightful to make bible beaters uncomfortable — the idea of a religious government official forced to legally refer to two men as “husbands” puts a smile on my vindictive face — but inflicting pain on one’s enemies alone is not reason to call for gay marriage.
Gays want to be accepted by society broadly. Usually they demand that they are accepted as they are, and that society’s expectations morph to accommodate their lifestyles. But in rejecting civil unions as insufficient, they are revealing — they don’t just want acceptance as they are, they want to mimic heterosexuals. Instead of being, to paraphrase from the last century, “different but equal,” they actually want to take part in the identical goofily baroque sacraments as the straights they often ridicule. Why in this instance would homosexuals want to be just like heterosexuals? Are you loud and proud or not? You’re queer — get used to it.
In closing, nobody needs state-recognised marriage for any reason at all. All the arrangements of marriage can be duplicated with contracts, and you do not have to choose the one-size-fits-all bundle that marriage forces upon couples. Even if gay couples do want that bundle, civil unions with the exact same provisions as legal marriage should be good enough for those not so desperate for society’s moral approval.
Self-identified lesbian and feminist Julia Bindel asserts in The Guardian:
I absolutely agree that fighting for the rights for same-sex marriage is going too far. I would outlaw marriage for everyone, including heterosexuals, and grant access to a civil partnership union across the board.
“I’m very anti-marriages, because I think that is for heterosexual couples,” asserted self-identified gay celebrity Christopher Biggins on another British television show.
Even on the libertarian side, David Coburn of the UK Independence Party advances the position that same-sex marriage will harm free religious speech and divide us.
Coburn, who identifies as gay, accuses the gay-marriage movement of stirring mainstream religious people with “an aggressive attack on people of faith, and an act of intolerance in itself.”
Many same-sex-marriage activists use a negative to sell their ideals. They seem to be saying, “OK, some heterosexuals have dirtied marriage, so we deserve to experiment on it some more.”
He argues that people who campaign for same-sex marriages to be allowed ignore the history of fatherless boys clogging up prisons, motherless babies being denied natural breast milk and bonding time, high rates of gay domestic violence (AKA the broken rainbow), and the many ways in which redefining marriage is used as a license to censor religious beliefs.
Abandoning children’s rights for a grand experiment is about control. It is believed that people need to strengthen existing marriages rather than trying to weaken the institution itself.
These opinions are not isolated ones. There are millions of gay people around the world who expressed disillusionment, frustration, and dismissal towards the gay rights especially on the issue surrounding marriage.