by Temitope Shittu-Alamu

Gangnam style is like the latest dance in town. If you like go and disgrace yourself and still be talking konko below or even Azonto.

When the song “konko below” by Lagbaja was released, I personally thought it was the best song to happen to the music industry. At-least the Nigerian one.

By all means it was a hot jam. The song was a sort of “call to prayer” for teenagers. I mean the passion with which they gathered to do the dance felt like it was for the unity and common good of the Nigerian people. You know, like an association of konko belowers (Nigerian chapter). You couldn’t hear that song and not jive on your seat no matter how nerdy. From party floors to bus parks and barbershops, it was a banger. In-fact I still think it is a hot jam.

So imagine my shock, disdain, and oh, disgust, when one day, at a Coca Cola tuck shop during lunch break, I mention konko below to a group of hawt looking ladies who I assume are about my age, and they are looking at me like I just gbagauned on twitter. They literally just stood there and giggled.

I have no affiliations whatsoever with Lagbaja, and as much as I am a huge fan, I sadly didn’t get one dime from the magnificent sales of the konko below album, errm well not that I would refuse if he offers, but strangely a sort of anger begins to well up inside me for his sake. Gosh they have no idea what it is let alone it being a kind of dance move.  I am stupefied, dazed, disturbed, overwhelmed. Permit all that grammar but I stood there thinking this has to be a joke. In fact I am horrified, flabbergasted, displeased, and even traumatized (lol). How can you not know konko below? I probe.

I take this weird look at the girls again and then it all starts to come to me.

Let me quickly add that I think schooling in Nigeria has spoilt some very major paroles for me and so many others. As in very major. I did not realize this until my konko below encounter with these ladies.

Because only suddenly did I realize that ohhhh  these girls are actually not my age group. We certainly didn’t grow up with the same things in the environment or on TV. I mean you can’t be in my age group and not know konko below, even if you were living in the village. Except of-course you have been jazzed and evil spirits are dancing Azonto on your head.

So as I said about Naija spoiling paroles, see the “analysis” here. If you wrote JAMB a number of times like let’s say the typical 4-5 times and no admission (please don’t ask me how many times I wrote), you take a break and learn fashion designing or do a pre-degree programme or join the choir so that at-least God can “see” you well in church, then continue your JAMB quest for another 2 years, then bam, hallelujah you finally get admission to study a course you didn’t even apply for.  Please, tell me how some bunch of 1993 born children will not “divinely” find their way  into your age group. It’s sad gosh. Why is having to go to university so difficult?  In-fact I am angry. I am ending this story now. See you next week.

Meanwhile, Gangnam style is like the latest dance in town. If you like go and disgrace yourself and still be talking konko below or even Azonto.




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