Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]

MONDAY: ‘I’ve finally retired my Dell PC and jumping onto d Mac book Pro/iPAD bandwagon,’ @segundemuren announced with glee. ‘But wait, unless d iPHONE pings, it’s blackberry for life!’ It’s also the first time that the Ginjah Master, @hitmanTerryG returns to his studio after the car crash. ‘Just resumed to ma studio today.. see crowd phh! God bless u all. Gbagaun!’ he tweeted. @bayoomisore is also on to new stuff and is trying to reduce his pouch. His tweet read: ‘Was at d gym today for d first time in ma life. All I av to say is lawd! Project Buff must work o! I now respect James Tonda Alabi’. Whilst he battled with keeping fit, others were devouring food without a care. ‘It’s Monday and am excited,’ @owengeenaija started. ‘Banga soup and starch on ma mind wit a cold bottle of malt’. @lolamaja too was leaving everything aside to attend to food. ‘Pls feel free to leave a msg after d tune. I will try to get back to u after I’ve had my morning agege bread and coke,’ she tweeted. And of course we know BB folks simply love to broadcast – it doesn’t matter if it gets on your last nerves! So when they sent messages around claiming it was from RIM, makers of BlackBerry phones, tweeples were livid. ‘If u r one of those dat sent or believed tht stupid broadcast, then u r a big fool! As in, how foolish can u b? am tired of ur foolishness!’ @ jimmyflames fumed. @demiladeR wasn’t satisfied to tweet his anger. He went a step further. ‘I am going to compose a broadcast msg and I’m going to b blunt abt d stupidity of some ppl on my bbm list!’

TUESDAY: @ubifranklin1 apparently missed out on all the bbm drama on Monday. His tweet said that much. ‘Ok like seriously, bbm has been boring jor! I can’t even change pix. Na wa o!’ Even if @nobsdaslushkid got the broadcast msgs, he didn’t sound bothered. He was out on a date last night. ‘Last nite was fab,’ he tweeted. ‘I had ice cream with Ms. Yellow Bikini and I also dropped her at home. We r now talking on bbm.’ @steezi_zwagger is also in love and willing to go the whole nine yards. She tweeted: ‘I’d show up in Iraq with an American accent for you babes. It was a nice one yesterday!’ For those who were up and about, it was a different kettle of fish. @kzie was having one of those days. ‘Whew! Tryin to pack.. I wonder wat I’ll take for dis foto shoot. I’m hungry too! *sad face*’ @ demiladeR’s gist was a strange one. His tweet went thus: ‘My sister is in a British Airways plane on the tarmac without a pilot. D substitute pilot is in traffic on his way to Heathrow, lol!’ Meanwhile, @bayoomisore is already harbouring thoughts of quitting the gym. ‘Ok ppl, I’m in pains. And I get rather creative at times like dis. No more aerobics for me. Will Pilates shed my pouch? Or yoga perhaps?

WEDNESDAY: Well, I didn’t get to know if @bayoomisore got his questions answered today. I was swamped with work and off Twitter. Tuesday was all about #TheAuthentic Celebration. And like my boss, @chude will say, it was time for ‘delicious chaos’. But trust me; I was itching to get back on twitter and BB!

THURSDAY: And when I did, I stumbled onto some serious love. It was a romantic Thursday in @gbengasesan’s home. ‘Cards all over d house for the Mrs today… Nothing special, just oiling wheels of a lifetime commitment and seeking to b a better man,’ his tweet read. @olorisupergal is having trouble dealing with her exes. Her tweet had an angry tone about it: ‘I have three of my ma ex having their birthday dis month. Two of dem r freaks n very troublesome! And they don’t want to grow! Move on!’ Although she didn’t tell us why she broke up, @walegates propounded a theory of his. ‘Mark Zuckerberg is d cause of a lot of relationship break ups, fornication and adultery. @ivorymalinov argues that it has helped in some other ways though. ‘Blind dates no longer exist,’ she tweeted. ‘All I av to do is go on twitter, facebook, myspace, hi5 or even bbm and I’ll get the person’s info.’ Talking about bbm, some folks there were still reacting to the broadcast messages issue. One simply said, ‘If you don’t want broadcast msgs, throw away ur BB and buy a Nokia or Samsung!’

FRIDAY: It wasn’t @exschoolnerd’s phone that was her grievance on Friday. Her laptop developed some faults and the engineer she asked to fix it was acting all prima donna. ‘See dis man o! I said he shud come and repair my laptop n he’s like, appearance fee is 5K. dat is to say, jus to show face, no repairing. Na artiste?!’ @iamdjillskills is a disc jockey and not an artiste but he was having his fair share on Twitter. ‘For dis early momor, all dis babes don dey bring dia wahala come.. add me! add me! will u follow me back?… I resemble Tuface or D’banj?!’ Another disc jockey, @ deejayneptune has unusual company on his flight. ‘Jus saw a fly on board d same flight wit me to Abuja. E b like say dis one don tire for Lagos life and wan relocate to Abuja.’ The bbm people in Lagos didn’t have such plans at all. They were bubbling with excitement as they talked about how they will be storming different hang outs on both the island and the mainland. As we went away for the weekend, @ivorymalinov gave us something to ponder over. Her tweet was: ‘Men r simple things. They can survive a whole weekend wit only four things: beer, food, sex and TV. Women on d other hand… *sigh* let’s not even go there..’

Not to worry @ivorymalinov. I’ll do a little research on that. By next week when I’m done prying on twitter and BB, I’ll be able to agree or disagree with your point!

Oluwapelumi