… with a painting, the painter is in control. By painter, I mean women. The canvas? Their bodies. The paint colours, may range from simple makeup to body magic or 90210… Men fall in love with pictures but they also sometimes paint these pictures themselves.

You probably read the title and wondered, well, that’s pretty much straight forward so what’s he on about? True. There was just no creative way to craft the title of this piece so I decided to say it the way it is. Men lie, women lie – we all lie. That’s life.

My objective here is to see if it’s possible to narrow down what men or women lie about most to just one statement. Yes, a phrase/sentence – perhaps. Not a “thing”. Why would I want to try this seemingly impossible task? Well, maybe it’s my calling (shoot me), but then again, I had a dream the other day about winning the Nobel peace prize (don’t ask the category). For the purpose of this discourse, I’ve come up with two statements, one for each gender. Here goes:

Women fall in love with ideas.

Some of you might have heard this, in fact, I think it’s a fairly popular saying but have you really given it a thought. I’m talking to the women now because if this statement is true, you might just find out why men lie about the things they do. Ask a lot, no, A LOT of women what that guy they’ve been seeing for a few months or even their boyfriend really does and you’ll probably get an answer like: “Oh, Tolu is a banker.” Dig deeper and ask what unit? What exactly does he do there? And you might just be looking for trouble. It’s even worse when he’s a somewhat successful entrepreneur. You’ll probably get something like “Emeka runs his own outfit.” Ok, what do they do in his “outfit” – blank.

Don’t get mad just yet, I’m trying to build a case here. I have a friend; you might have read about human chameleons, well, let’s just say he’s one. In his four years in the university I watched as he changed his course (not officially) from Medicine to Law to Engineering to … depending on the requirements he needed for the girl he was seeing at that time. You could walk into his room and a stethoscope would be dangling from his bed or you’d see him with huge engineering textbooks e.t.c.

To say he was more than successful with getting the girls (he wanted) would be an understatement. Some months after he graduated and I went to his crib. He was still job hunting and lived in a flat with friends. On that day, he was expecting a girl and I was amazed as he went round all the rooms lending one electronic gadget or the other. I walked into his room later to see it transformed. He laid out about 6 remote controls on his bed and I noticed a loose cheque leaf sticking out of a book by his bed. The cheque leaf was his, written out to one of our other friends; 500k. I shook my head thinking surely, this isn’t going to work right? He looked at me then and said, “all na idea”. Hours later, as the girl (who turned out to be a… erm… popular  “socialite”) walked out of his room, I thought to myself…. ideas…hmmm…

Men fall in love with pictures.

Well, maybe the more appropriate word would have been paintings. Why? Because as much as you can manipulate a picture taken with a camera, there’s a limit to what you can do. But with a painting, the painter is in control. By painter, I mean women. The canvas? Their bodies. The paint colours, may range from simple makeup to body magic or 90210 (depending on how much of a painting you’re looking at creating). I guess I’ve spoken somewhat extensively about this topic in the past.

I’d just like to add a new angle. Men fall in love with pictures but they also sometimes paint these pictures themselves. Let me explain. When a guy gets serious with a girl, he wants to know everything and I mean EVERYTHING he can about her. Why? He’s painting that mental picture of you and him hanging out with his friends, his parents e.t.c. He’s imagining what his kids from you will look like, how intelligent they’ll be. Any girl who knows this can easily manipulate her way into his heart. And I’ve seen it happen too. The only question is how far is she willing to go? Will you memorize the periodic table or…..

I think I’ll stop here. These are my statements. Can you come up with any or do you have examples/experiences that can help support mine, use the comment box, speak your mind. Cheers.

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