by Hauwa Gambo

So of course, I just had to do this. Certain people this year have just been the worst – the absolute worst. After thinking long and hard about this, here I take my  pick of some of the the worst 10…

1. Farouk Lawan: It is almost impossible, just impossible, to over-state just how deeply disappointed Lawan has made many Nigerians this year. A man called Mr. Integrity, he exposed himself this year as a lowly desperate character, who would take the trust of the nation and sell it for a couple million dollars. He derailed the fuel subsidy probe and made nonsense of all our combined efforts to straighten our oil affairs. We don’t know how this man sleeps at night.

2. Bashar al-Assad: We have just one prayer – that the President of Syria meets a fate worse than that he has dealt his countrymen. Truth is, we are yet to come to terms with the sheer amount of his own citizens that this beast of a man has shelled, maimed, and killed just to maintain his grip on political power that he had hitherto not used to better the lives of Syrians. It makes us sick to stomach to even live in the same world as such a beastly man.

3. Abubakar Shekau: This man and other leaders of Boko Haram, with all their cohorts and comrades who have taken the lives of so many men, women and children in Nigeria’s North this year truly deserve to burn in the hottest part of hell. No cause, no mission, no idea is so just that it must sacrifice the lives of so many innocent souls. Throwing bombs at will, entering churches and firing at people, destroying their own land and neighbors – how much evil must Nigeria suffer at their hands?

4. Chris Brown: As far as narcissism and self-indulgence go, it doesn’t get much worse than the boy called Chris Brown. He is certainly one of the worst examples of money and fame. If he isn’t being silly and fighting in clubs for no sensible reason, he is uttering homophobic and racist slurs, or – worse – he is proving how truly unrepentant he is of being a woman-beater. Added to all of that, in the full glare of the world, he is playing two women, and getting away with it! Sure, Rihana and Karruche are, to put it lightly, dumb, but pray tell, how Brown get away it’s so much nastiness?!

5. Prezzo: Dear Lord, if you can grant us one prayer in 2012, it should be that Prezzo descends into the pit of oblivion for which he is clearly destined. How fame hungry could one person be really?! He spends the entity of Big Brother deceiving the now-diminished Goldie; telling her he loves her in one breathe and sneakily calling her all kinds of miserable names to everyone else. And now? As he seeks to make an in-road into the Nigerian market, he suddenly has nothing but love for her? Come on man, do us a favour – just go away.

[Read 'Goldie is still under prezzo: "That chick is a weirdo," he says HERE]

6. Rudy Eugene: This was one of the stories that captivated the world this year. Supposedly as a result of Crystal Meth gone wrong, Eugene in Miami this year descended on a homeless man named Ronald Poppo and began to eat his face. So intent was ‘The Miami Cannibal’ on this devastation, that even after the police arrived and ordered him to stop – he just went on consuming the man’s face until he had to be shot and killed. He is dead now – but the horror he left behind sadly lives on: Poppo is now full blind and his life will just never remain the same. Truly horrible.

[Miami Cannibal victim, Ronald Poppo's face post-surgey (GRAPHIC PHOTOS) HERE]

7. The security guard who slapped Big Brother winner, Karen Igho:  We have struggled over the past few days to find the name of this, this, this… Person. Luckily for him, we haven’t. But one thing we are certain about – he should be in jail. How does a man lift his hand and slap any woman, just because he can? The matter of violence against women is one that yet persists in our society, and it does of course because when you go on social media and beer parlours you still find those who ignorantly say for a woman to be hit, she must have deserved it. We shudder to imagine what kind of male children people like this, this, this … person will be raising.

8. Olufunke Aladeojobi: Yeah, you don’t know that name, and neither should you. As we hear it from her students, she was really just another mediocre school principal. But she did distinguish herself with infamy when it as uncovered that she had violated  teenage girls in her care at the Ajuwon High School, Ogun by subjecting them to an offensive, and illegal,”virginity test”. She, along with others, randomly “dipped fingers” into the genitalia of young girls and possibly traumatised them for life. She has been arrested, thankfully. Maybe, in jail, one of her roomies should take a cue from her and check if SHE is a virgin. Nonsense.

[READ "The virginity test disvirgined me," 14-year-old victim speaks out' HERE]

9. Tony Anenih: In case you didn’t know, well let’s tell you: insiders confirm it was Tony Anenih – former chairman of the People’s Democratic Arty Board of Trustees, former minister of failure who supervised the collapse of the Lagos-Ore road, and a man who has stuck around the corridors of power like a parasite, sucking us all dry and incapable of giving anything of value in return – who gave President ‘I-don’t-give-a-damn’ Joanthan the decisive advise to send the armored tanks into Lagos and crush the #OccupyNigeria protests in Lagos. Even if this weren’t the case, he would still make this list because this man has consistently proven he is an enemy of the country. Unfortunately, it seems he is a cancer we will be stuck with for a very long time.

10. Diezani Alison-Madueke. Seriously, you know there is no reason to explain why this woman’s name is here. Even worse, she appears to be a punishment Nigerians will bear for at least two more years.

[Read 'YNaija Editorial: The disturbing arrogance of Diezani Alison-Madueke' HERE]

Oh, the horror.