In general, the “woman’s role” has evolved considerably, from domestic goddess to boardroom boss. So does that mean our priorities as women have changed too?

I was contacted 10 days ago to write a piece for YNaija, at first I was ecstatic until I was hit with a bad case of writer’s block. Beauty is my usually topic of blog banter and I’m fully aware my topic of choice is not my forte but a reality of life for many young women in Nigeria and around the world.

First of all, I want to share with you what marriage is to me. Marriage is the decision to willingly share your life and all its shortcomings with another person, one person.

I’m 23 Years old, about to start my masters and I’ve gotten to the age whereby eyes naturally gravitate to my left hand in search of the traditional embellishments, which symbolize marriage, in other words a ring.

As African women what does marriage mean in this day and age? For our grandmothers it meant social security and all round support, for our mothers it meant companionship and the construction of a strong family unit. But what does it mean for us? We all know what we would like it to mean, a partner, a lover and a friend, our Happily ever after. But is this realistic?

In general, the “woman’s role” has evolved considerably, from domestic goddess to boardroom boss. So does that mean our priorities as women have changed too? Has the sweet notion of becoming a wife and mother been over ridden by becoming a six figure earning career woman?

Personally, I think not! Women are just as nurturing as we have always been and have demonstrated our many other capabilities outside the home. Giving credit where credit is due, Nigerian men have also evolved to accommodate this change.

Women have not changed, we’ve just learnt to balance and juggle (no comparison to any circus act). Changing roles at the drop of a dime, from mom to wife, homemaker to CEO.  More than anything I think the 21^st century is a wonderful time to be a woman in terms of equality and career opportunities.

Even though Nigeria is moving forward the need for women and men alike to form a family unit will always be of paramount importance as to Nigerians there very few things more important than family. Being a married woman shouldn’t be looked at as shackles, holding you back from reaching your full potential in your career or business goals. Marriage and family is what should give balance and a point of reference and motivation. It is surprising the number of women today who feel the opposite.

Over the years I have had many conversations with Nigerian women over the age of 40 who put their careers first most of whom ended up regretting their decision or blamed being a spinster on other factors. Why is there a sudden increase in the number of women that never get to the altar? I recently met a 45-year-old Nigerian nurse working here in England who has never been married; her excuse was she hasn’t met a man that meets her standards. Can this be true? Or are women’s standards becoming unreasonable?

Growing up most of my life without a father has further impressed upon me the importance of having a strong, complete family unit as well as having someone to share the ups and downs of your life with. It’s surprising that there are over 6 billion people in the world and it is still easy to find it lonely.

What do you think about the questions I have put forward? Is the idea of marriage and family changing in the minds of young Nigerian women? As I say on my blog, Do Share!

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About 30 Days 30 Voices: 30 Days, 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians to share their stories and experiences with other young Nigerians, within our borders and beyond, to inspire and motivate them. 

About the author: Zubaida Abiola is a recent Biomedical Science graduate and Master of Public Health Student. She is also a beauty, lifestyle and fashion blogger at http://zoobaydah.blogspot.co.uk/ . You can follow her on http://twitter.com/ZooBayDah

 

*Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.