by Maressa Brown

Phone sex just got couples-friendly! But it could still make you cringe or laugh your ass off.

Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship,happen to have the polar opposite schedule from your partner, or are struggling to find time to connect for whatever reason, there’s a snazzy gadget or invention out there sure to save your sex life. No, I’m not talking about old school sex toys or even FaceTime — don’t be silly!

Here, the “Sexy Tales” “Choose Your Own Adventure” phone sex and other hilarious but potentially helpful technologies that may work like a charm for couples who are foreplay-challenged …

1. “Choose Your Own Adventure” phone sex – Phone sex just got couples-friendly! But it could still make you cringe or laugh your ass off. A company called Dejamor now offers a service called “Sexy Tales,” which lets you call a specific number, enter the number of your partner, and walk them through all your dirty fantasies. You can choose from pre-scripted “tales,” like, “Wow, is it just me that’s hot? I’m unbuttoning my blouse and guess what I have underneath? That’s right baby, a black lace, see-through bra. I can feel your eyes on me and it’s making my nipples so hard they’re poking right out.” Or you can “build-your-own” script, so you actually stand a chance at getting your lover all hot and bothered instead of just giving them a giggle fit.

2. Fundawear – It may sound like the punchline to the one joke my 4-year-old niece knows, but it’s an actual product Durex has released. It’s a long-distance, app-controlled underwearstimulator, and it actually looks like a couple’s best shot at enjoying one another’s “touch” remotely. Whatever will they dream up next?!

3. SexyVibes – Forget the Fundawear — you can just turn your smartphone into a vibrator with this app! The settings have hilarious names like “Fluffy Bunny” or “Washing Machine.”

4. “Wheel of Foreplay” – Yes, that’s really the name of this kinky 99-cent app, in which you spin the wheel to unlock activities to be played out with your S.O. Takes the thinking out of the equation, so there’s more doooing.

5. Sex Positions Games – Another app with an even more lame-o name is actually lauded for getting couples talking so as to turn up the heat. Set up like a game of Truth or Dare, you can exclusively choose to exclusively answer “truth” questions, then switch to “dare” mode.

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Read this article in The Stir

 

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