by Sam Hart

 In traditional Igbo funerals, the bereaved are saddled with monumental expenses and monetary demands in the name of tradition whenever they want to bury a loved one.

As is my practice, I will go straight to the point.

Two years ago, I lost my father-in-law. The old man (we all called him Old Soldier) was a likeable fellow who gave his all to ensure that his children got the best and with his meager Police Inspector’s salary, he trained his six children in the university.

Upon his demise, I notified my father who then told me that the people of my community needed to be notified. I told him to go ahead and notify whoever needed to know and he said it was not that easy. I had to pay for a meeting to be called to notify them and there are basic requirements that must be presented to them when they come for the meeting even before you tell them why you have called them.

We did the maths and everything required to call the meetings of both the men and the women came to about N20,000. I sent the money (with extras for contingency) to my parents and we agreed on a date for the meeting with the elders when I will be physically present to brief them.

So the date came and the elders of the village started arriving at my father’s compound in the unhurried manner of elders in the village. The 4pm meeting didn’t kick off until 6pm. First, the kolanut ritual which took about 15 minutes and afterwards, everyone had something to eat and drink and it was while they were loungingly seeping the third helping of palmwine and other drinks I provided that I was invited to notify the village of the reason why I had called them. I informed them that I had lost my father in-law and informed them of the date of his burial.

After a brief interval of commiserations and condolences, the Secretary of the Community Association was asked to notify me of what they would require of me to accompany me to Ehime Mbano from Umuahia to bury my father in-law.

An abstract of the requirement is reproduced below:

1. 3 buses (1 for the men, 1 for the women and 1 for the Dance Group)
2. 2 Coolers of Akpu with two different types of soup each
3. A He-Goat which they will present to the in-laws as their contribution to the funeral
4. Cartons and Crates of assorted drinks
5. Bottles of Spirits
6. Kolanuts, Garden eggs and Peanut butter/alligator pepper
7. Chunks of Meat
8. Hiring of our own native musical dance group that will accompany them
9. A lump sum of money

By the time I did the mental calculation of all that was required of me, I needed to provide about N100,000 for my people to escort me to go and bury my father in-law.

The best part of the evening was when the Financial Secretary raised a point of order in the course of the evening to state that his record books showed that I owed them and I needed to clear the debt before they can accompany me.

Pray, how did this debt come about and how much is it?

I was told that when I did my Traditional Marriage in 2006, the people of the village accompanied me to get my wife and by tradition, I was supposed to bring my wife straight to the village upon collecting her from her people and presenting her to my own people as one of us and that the said presentation ordinarily ought to be accompanied with certain food items and drinks.

I recall that the day was far spent the evening of my traditional marriage and although I stopped over at the village on our way back from Mbano, I didn’t linger for the traditional introduction ceremonies. I told my parents to do the rest and went home to get a desired sleep while my wife proceeded to her parent’s house (Yes. She did not move in with me until after the white wedding).

It then turns out that in the spirit of the festivities of the day, my mother was supposed to present 70 wraps of Fufu to the women with two coolers of soup but she only presented 50 wraps and the poor woman thought all had been forgotten as part of the festivities.

Nay! The efficient and fastidious financial secretary’s wife informed her husband of the infraction who then pronto proceeded to enter it for me beside my name in the village log book awaiting a day I will require anything from the village. That outstanding 20 wraps of Fufu was what he was referring to as my pending debt which I had to offset before my relatives could accompany me to bury my father in-law.

I took that one on the chin and paid N2,000 on the spot in lieu of the outstanding 20 wraps of Fufu and my slate was mercifully wiped clean of any outstanding debt. Now I was a fit and proper person in moral and financial right-standing with the community to be bestowed with the high favours of traditional accompaniment.

Thus, we went for the burial and like they say, all is well that ends well…but not quite. Alas, a twist to the tale.

I will not talk about the fee I contributed as my allotted share towards offsetting the cost of the funeral. It was a duty done to a beloved father-in-law and it is not the subject of this discourse.

However, I did inadvertently incur additional expenses than would have sufficed. Having provided the substantial amount which was my allotted contribution to the funeral, I topped it with a Cow as is customary in Igboland during a funeral. Alas, I had performed an act which needed a corresponding act to balance it.

My wife’s people told me that since my father-in-law’s own father was not buried with a cow, it would be wrong to bury my father-in-law with a cow thus, the only way they can kill the cow is if another cow is provided to be slaughtered first in memory of my father-in-law’s father, then his own cow can then be slaughtered for him. No kidding! They were dead (no pun) serious.

To cut a long story short, a senior friend of mine who was with me when the drama was unfolding pronto made a call and ordered for another cow to be brought to Mbano from the closest cow market post-haste. Needless to say, everything was on pause until that other cow arrived. Do not forget the small matter of the appurtenances and accompaniments that had to go with the slaughtering of the cow in honour of the long dead. I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say that it was monetized. Thankfully, no living person witnessed the burial of my great-grand father-in-law to confirm if a cow was slaughtered or not, we would probably have required more cows.

I digress.

In traditional Igbo funerals, the bereaved are saddled with monumental expenses and monetary demands in the name of tradition whenever they want to bury a loved one. Do not ask me what the villagers – on both sides – contributed financially and otherwise towards this burial. I’m in a good mood. No point spoiling it. They seem to assume that their very presence is contribution enough. I won’t push the subject.

You cannot help but compare this with how the foreigners bury their dead… or our brothers, the Muslims.

Don’t get it twisted. I am proudly Igbo and in my next life, I’ll gladly be born Igbo errr… but preferably without some of the traditional requirements.

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