by Tete Timon Tamaran

Dating has also adopted this status, something similar to the defunct trade by barter system. A relationship that was once driven by love and affection now has “conditions” that must be met. Most relationships are all about benefits; to get something, you should have something to offer in return. 

“Scratch my back and I scratch yours”. This phrase best describes most human relationships we find these days. Hardly do we find a relationship driven by selflessness and collectivity as was the case in times past. Everyone is looking to derive some benefits thereby motivating the decision of whether or not to be in a relationship, be it business or politics. Every party involved comes to the table with personal interests that must be satisfied if the relationship must continue.

Dating has also adopted this status, something similar to the defunct trade by barter system. A relationship that was once driven by love and affection now has “conditions” that must be met. Most relationships are all about benefits; to get something, you should have something to offer in return. Some ladies date for the money, strictly going after men who can spend well on them and will always be ready to sexually satisfy their “lover” as long as the money keeps flowing in. Everyone involved is contracted to adequately satisfy the “needs” of the other party in order to have a smooth relationship. If things are no longer going as agreed, break-up or divorce is the next alternative and the search for a new partner begins.

Shamefully, some ladies see nothing wrong in selling their body for material things that will become obsolete in a short time, just to derive the temporary pleasure of being in vogue and in the league of the “happening” babes. “After all it is just sex” they will say. These days, many ladies live in self-deceit, hiding under the umbrella of being in a relationship to commit prostitution, pretending to have a boyfriend whereas in the real sense he is just a guy who pays them for their “services”. It is high time we started to call things by their proper names. Many are in a “prostitutionship” not a relationship. Using sex to get something from someone is prostitution. If sex is the condition to get money, phone, gadgets or any material thing from your “boyfriend”, you’re a prostitute! There is no other way to this.  Sadly, this trend is gradually moving from our tertiary institutions to the secondary school level. You will be surprised to know what these young, innocent-looking secondary school girls are capable of doing when alone and away from the preying eyes of their parents or teachers. Many girls are being introduced to men at a very young age who will spoil them with gifts and money in return for several rounds of sex, even while under the roof of their parents. They are so smart that it will take extra and dedicated effort to suspect or find out about their sexcapades. Other innocent girls see these things and are negatively influenced to follow suit.

We need to take steps to correct these calamitous practices else we have an ill-starred future ahead of us. Ladies should realize that they are treasures and learn to carry themselves with respect and dignity rather than being easily accessed for a cheap fee like a book on the shelf. The respect will only come if it is deserved. You cannot go sleeping around and still expect the preferential treatment meant for a princess. A public commodity has no value. The way you dress (physically and character-wise) determines the way you will be addressed (treated by others). These same ladies will be the first to say “all men are the same” after several failed attempts to find a lasting relationship due to their abominable doings. Poverty is not an excuse to sell your body. Many have survived similar conditions by using their brains for legitimate, profitable and enviable projects bringing about long-lasting benefits. It is a small world; the things we do now will definitely testify against us in the future. The sooner we begin to think and do the right things, the better and happier our future will be.

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