by Cheta Nwanze

Rotimi Amaechi1

You see, Unlce Rotimi wants to march on the streets of his domain, and given that his own orders come from above, the man-in-black in the state, Joseph Mbu has said, “Oga Guv’nor, don’t march.”

As of this moment, the EFCC blazer is “on the run” following an order given by the High Court sitting in Abuja. A presumably, low level staffer in his organisation had refused to obey a court order to release the call-to-bar certificate of, wait for it, a lawyer. Knowing fully well what to do, the wig, Innocent Onwu went to court. Now it remains to be seen whether the law does have some power. I would expect to be heading to Kuje Prisons soon to give Uncle Lamorde a drink.

But then maybe the IG will not follow the order given by the venerable Justice Kekemeke, as he will be too busy following the one given by Uncle Rotimi. You see, Unlce Rotimi wants to march on the streets of his domain, and given that his own orders come from above, the man-in-black in the state, Joseph Mbu has said, “Oga Guv’nor, don’t march.” Uncle Rotimi’s response, “Shoot me when I march.” Err, people, that sounds like a direct order. I’m selling front row tickets.

In other news, Uncle Rotimi’s rival, Grandpa Jang has no shortage of willing combatants for his cause.

Quote of the Day (1)

“That Nigeria has resumed executions for sentences passed by military tribunals only amplifies the disregard for human rights” – Lucy Freeman of Amnesty International

Quote of the Day (2)

“We must therefore address it squarely. I still maintain that oil theft should attract capital punishment” – Uncle David

Bits and Bobs

As a result of the confusion generated by the two quotes above, and a bit unsure following the reaction to their hanging of four convicts on Monday, the authorities at the Benin Prisons have decided to let go of the ropes. They will shoot convict number five instead.

Former NFA #OgaAtTheTop, Kojo Williams would still prefer that we go and get a PE teacher from Belgium to coach Papa Eagles. “I just think that we were technically bereft and to show how disgraceful and incompetent we are, Keshi, in the days before the match against Tahiti, said that he had no knowledge of Tahiti,” he screeched of the African Cup of Nations winner as clips of Tahiti’s win over New Caledonia finally surfaced on YouTube.

Still on Nigeria’s footie, Ikwerreman, to those of you who listen to the radio in Port Harcourt, has run the rule over Nigeria’s Football League and its management. It does not make very pleasant reading.

Right of Reply

Awolesi Damilola wrote,

Pls shut up and let osaze be called back…point to one striker on that team…you really think we can afford those careless loss of chances in the world cup?…diego forlan…is over 35…still in the team…pls wake Up.


Chxta responds,


Last time I checked, Osaze Odemwingie is no longer a footballer. As a matter of fact, if the news hitting the wires this morning is anything to go by, he will not be playing any footie next season either.


Sunny Irums wrote,


Dear Chxta,

In all honesty, I am all for the Old Testament of a tooth for a tooth but would be happier if a couple of our thieving leaders are shot too just to look a bit fair. Did I say fair? Just a dream!!!

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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