by Cheta Nwanze

 “We want to come back here next year and make an impact. This is a dress rehearsal and I can assure that the Super Eagles will be among the top nations when the Brazil 2014 World Cup starts,”

Many apologies for the Papa Eagles like display with this tonic last week. While I can’t guarantee that it won’t happen again, I would blame this one on the approaching pay day. Kind of like the way civil servants in Nigeria are going to be erratic in the coming months if Comrade Governor’s statements are anything to go buy. I think it is at this point that I will probably state, very publicly that I shall be giving the state of my birth a wide berth in the near future. What, with okada now banned, a cult war that is still ongoing, and now civil servants potentially joining the fray, the crime levels out there must be about to go through the roof.

In news of other places that I will not be visiting any time soon, the government of the formerly great Britain, have decided to impose a £3k (N750k) levy for Nigerians (among others) to have the pleasure of visiting their domain. Strange call this one considering that they actually need the citizens (and resources) of these countries more than they are needed, if only those people knew it of course.

But then as the old saying goes, knowledge is power, and in this case, someone has taken the time to give us some knowledge about one of the apparently serious contenders for the top job in the next election cycle, while the Prez causes “disquiet” as he slowly takes over People Deceive People. Pity the chaps who could have taken advantage of the “disquiet” are having a “disquieting” moment themselves…

Bits and bobs

I was under the impression that issuing dud cheques is a crime. But given where we live in, crime pays, so Nollywood fine-boy, Emeka Ike is safe.

Benin, no, not my hometown, but the country named after my hometown, is the biggest beneficiary of Nigeria’s new rice policy.

And finally this morning, still swaying uncontrollably from the black eye issued by La Furia Roja, Big Boss admits that we missed Emenike and Moses. “We want to come back here next year and make an impact. This is a dress rehearsal and I can assure that the Super Eagles will be among the top nations when the Brazil 2014 World Cup starts,” Big Boss wept while in the background, the fourteen players that were passed out of Brazil yesterday breathed through respirators.

Parting shot at Big Boss: your team played decently. You just need to get some depth.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.