by Nikki Ransom-Alfred

Throw away those flannel pajamas that you sleep in and replace them with enticing lingerie (or sleep in nothing at all).

These marital don’ts can drive even the best husbands away.

As women, we can place a lot of emphasis on gettingmarried, but not enough on staying married. These are five common mistakes that married women make that you should be sure to avoid (if you don’t want your relationship to end in divorce):

1. You nag him. Being nagged by their wives has become so common in marriage that it’s become almost expected by men! As a wife, I can say that saddens me, especially since nagging is so completely unnecessary! Do not allow yourself to become a stereotypical wife by paying attention to the way that you speak to your husband. Your job as his mate is to uplift him, not bring him down with your words. Talking to your guy in a positive, loving way will go a lot further than fussing at him. An important fact to know is that studies have shown that the male brain does not process the female voice the same way it would another man’s voice. To have effective communication with your husband, you should not only remember to watch what you say, but also how you say it.

2. You’ve forgotten to be his girlfriend.Continue to be his girlfriend (even if you happen to be his wife). Remember how hard you worked to make sure you were flawless whenever you saw him at the start of your relationship? Don’t stop once you get a ring. Keep it sexy. I know that age, pregnancy and other health factors can get our bodies all out of whack, but we still should keep ourselves looking good for our husbands.

Throw away those flannel pajamas that you sleep in and replace them with enticing lingerie (or sleep in nothing at all). Be his trophy wife. Men love to feel desired and appreciated just as much as we do, so keeping yourself at your best shows him that you still find him just as delicious as you did the first day you met. This shows your husband that you value him and that you value your relationship.

3. You don’t think of sex as a priority. Remember how Ray, on Everyone Loves Raymond would be so scared to upset Debra fearing it would mean no sex for him? Sex should be abundant after marriage! This televised example of marriage may explain why so many men are terrified of marriage and it is also what’s keeping many husbands upset.

Sex is much more than just a physical act to your husband. Studies have shown that sex is a need and a source of validation for men. You do not want to continuously have your man feeling unwanted by the woman he loves and to change his own natural urges—that’s not fair or right. Men also find great solace in making love to their wives. How beautiful is that to know we can be all of this to our husbands through an amazingly pleasurable, healthy act such as sex?

4. You’re unadventurous in the bedroom. As I mentioned before, to your husband, sex is more than just a physical act. Men naturally crave variety! Knowing this, you should maintain an open mind when it comes to various sexual acts that your husband may want to try. Remember your vows to “honor thy husband” … that includes his bodily desires. You two are going to be together for the rest of your lives. You want to be open to new and exciting ways to keep your marriage hot! Keep an open mind and try anything (within reason) at least once, you may find out that you enjoy it.

5. You neglect yourself. As women, we can allow ourselves to become so consumed with our children, husbands, careers and other responsibilities that we neglect ourselves. We neglect our own wants and desires that we have for ourselves such as learning a new language, starting our own business or experiencing a new part of the world. Always remember to make deposits into your own personal stock and that the higher your stock grows, the better you will feel about yourself and your life. With this kind of positivity, you have no choice but to be an amazing wife to your husband!

A wife that does not nag, keeps steamy sex as a priority in her marriage and maintains her fabulousness on the outside as well as the inside will definitely have a very happy husband! The marriage will be filled with the peace and passion that all should have and wives being treated in the way they’ve always desired.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.